In the childhood many women who have become then by lesbians,
suffer from a lack of understanding from mother. The feeling of remoteness
from mother is shown in several variants. One woman, for example, has described
it so: "Mother did for me everything, but I never could speak with
it about the private affairs and sincere experiences". Other woman
tells: "At mother never was for me time". There are also such
complaints: "Mother communicated with sister, than with me more", "It
did all instead of me and addressed with me as with the small child", "She
often was ill", "It some times placed in psychiatric hospital", "It
has left a family when I was still absolutely small" and so on.
Sometimes the girl herself incurs a role of mother for the younger brothers
and sisters - for example, if it the oldest daughter in a family or if
mother badly carries out the parent duties - and then she tests shortage
of heat and geniality from mother. |
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| Probably, mother has been compelled to refuse female pleasures
of a life or did not feel at home the wife and the mistress. It usually
leads to that the woman is adjusted critically under the relation to everything
that considers as display of a female role, and transfers the relation
of the daughter. In this case at the girl installation on negation of the
female essence is formed. Some women-lesbians believe, that their mothers
wished to have in due time sons, instead of daughters and consequently
encouraged in daughters boyish forms of behaviour and aspiration to achievements
in man's areas, instead of that more approaches the girl.Formation depends
on mother in the girl of feeling of a self-trust and female advantage.
If mother manages to make so, that the daughter feels
itself respected and valued as the woman the girl feels a part of the
special female world and the house, and among contemporaries. At very
many gay the focused women were not deep personal and confidential
mutual relations with their mothers: they did not have general female
interests, they never were engaged together in "female work".
And, as consequence, the girl does not feel that she can be respected
as the girl, that is a being which is distinct from the boy, but not
less valuable. Essential variations take place and in models of relations
between daughters and fathers. Some women with homosexual propensities
have been unduly
adhered to the fathers, as though were for them "the special friend".
Sometimes such attachment could be created is artificial, as the father
demanded from the daughter of performance of special function owing to
what relations could not be quite free and natural. For example, the
father very much wished to have not the daughter, and the son, a companion
and consequently encouraged the girl to man's employment, brought up
in it corresponding interests and aspiration to success. Gave, for example,
excessive attention of its progress at school, to achievements in sports,
to leadership in public affairs. It is quite clear, that is deep inside
the girl felt itself not understood, accepted not for the one whom it
was actually... |
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Some women have a complex of ugliness with special accent on insufficient
feminity and appeal. This complex is usually formed in girlhood and
also the role of the factor which is paving the way for homosexuality
can play. Sometimes such complex results from comparison of with sister,
which around (or everything, or itself only the girl) consider more
attractive as outwardly, and in all other relations. Happens and so,
that the feeling of inferiority develops at the girl growing among
brothers: "I only the little girl", - and for this reason
it in every way try to surpass them in boyish tricks. In adolescence
the inattention from an opposite sex, probably, created at it sensation: " They
consider me less attractive, than other little girls, they do not wish
to meet me ", - or something in this sort. The girl to whom it
seems, that boys do not pay to it attention, admires with feminity
of other girls which have the big success. The factors contributing
to occurrence of homosexuality, similar mentioned e, operate all
together and mutually strengthen influence each other both on girls,
and on boys.Part of girls which became subsequently lesbians, really,
in the childhood and a youth their contemporaries behaved less on-devchonochi
or less
in a female way, than. As a result they felt uncertainly in sphere
of the feminity, their carelessness and indifference were hypercompensating
reaction to it and, desire to order and dominate, diligence to surpass
boys in courage, neglect danger, aggressions, roughnesses and sharpnesses
in behaviour. They have a demonstrative contempt for womanly behaviour,
lady's wear and house affairs. Such gipersexual the man's self-trust,
aggressiveness and desire to ego-trip, however, are noted by some affectation.
They are exaggerated, and behind them always it is possible to feel
an emotional pressure.
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